Secret love of Sasuke
by FingerLickingGood
Summary: Everyone has a secret love and Sasuke is not excepted from carrying the burden, but he is coping and his solution? To run. Onesided SasuNaru first- if you are good, me might write you some more... M for not being a teen type of love.


Title: Secret Love of Sasuke

Disclaimer: Who is that? Sasuke? I love you and let me take you to my home so we could do naughty stuff! (Naruto and Kishimoto chase me a shotgun)

_I can't do the talk like the talk on the TV  
And I can't do a love song like the way it's meant to be  
I can't do everything but I'd do anything for you  
Can't do anything except be in love with you_

**Romeo and Juliet- The killer**

SASUKE POV

I had never found interest in anyone since I was in my second year of high school. I used to be a guy who's eyes hid behind the thick glasses, black dirty hair combed backwards in the geeky style one could possibly pulled, trousers hanging for dear life above the waistline, socks high up to the knees and black formal shoes that deserved to be worn by the school kids; yes, Uchiha Sasuke was not a pleasant man in anyone's eyes, form and personality.

Twenty years, I held to one goal in my life; to become a professor in the University of Cambridge for Chemical Engineering. It sounded appealing to me at that time because that was what I thought I had lived for. I worked hard for my grades, nights and days.

It wasn't that I hadn't have crush on anyone before. It was only normal for a person to be human. I had one on my first year of High School. She, the one that I lust for, was a very popular girl in the high school. I was my geeky self, but for the first time ever, I felt something that I had never felt before. My heart would thump whenever she passed. She had never talked to me but I didn't realise that because of my blinding crush.

One evening, I decided to tell her about my feeling after the school ended. I wrote a secret letter to her, telling her that I would meet her at the back of our school. After the last bell, I ran as fast as I could as to not making her wait, but I wasn't the one to be late.

2 O'clock, 3 O' clock, 4 O' clock... and she never came. By the time my wrist watch showed 5, I sighed, heartbroken to be turned down by Sakura, simply by not turning up.

Things got worse the next day. As usual, I had gone to my locker to collect my book scheduled for that day. There was a paper slipped for me, so I opened to read it.

Hey geek boy,

I'm sorry but a guy like you are so my turn off. If I want to date, I would date someone popular and less geeky. You got that right! I was there, watching you dashing like a mad man to where you want to see me but after realising it is you, I can't see the future with you being in it! 

Not your luck. 

Your heartbreaker, Sakura Haruno.

The night I received the letter, I was feeling sorry for myself. I didn't want to cry so I pretended like her answer was not affecting me. I am a guy after all. I swallowed the shame when her friends laughed at my weak attempt to be with her. She even joined them in their laughter episode.

I was bullied. I was the victim. I was never the man in any girls' eyes.

All in all, I was nothing to them.

As I got older, however, the skimpy me changed. When I hit puberty, I gained what other guys would kill to have. Washboard abs, height as tall as the tower, slender fingers that could intertwined with any fingers that wished to have such company, leaned muscle but still fluid and most of all, big package somewhere down the south.

Yet, I hid it all underneath and behind the thick glasses, geeky hairstyle, baggy t-shirts and tracksuits (except for the height), but I was beginning to attract attention. Not as much but still attention.

When I walked around, some girls would bore a hole in my head, but of course, I wasn't interested in any of them. Graduating high school, I had given a try at my dreamed university, studying my dreamed course, but by the end of the first month, I dropped it, changing my career option to law instead.

With the guidance of my tutor, Kakashi, the lawyer who worked in the criminal section, I was trained to deal with courts. Kakashi, being a modest man he was, said that I needed to change my appearance. To be a lawyer was to appeal as best as I could. _No I don't know how to become appealing_, I told him. _Then, let me teach you the art of Kakashi_, he said with a glee shining through his perverted glance. Kakashi brought me to a designer that goes by the name of Iruka Umino.

That was how I met Naruto Uzumaki. He was the most beautiful person I had ever met. His blond bang spiked in a mess, his blue eyes shone with his bubbly side. Three whiskers marks parallel to each other scarred on his cheeks. Maybe it was a tattoo he had got for himself. His tan skin that no sun could yield matched well with his facial features. I would wager that it was his natural skin colour. He was no taller than me but his height was acceptable among the guys. The body fitting shirt he wore showed his slender body, how it competed with the girls that I had ever seen. He was under the apprenticeship of Iruka in his designer shop. No, they were not interior designer. In fact, their responsibility was to make over someone to turn him/her into a swan, like the ugly duckling story.

The whole time Kakashi was watching me, I just kept stealing a look at Naruto. The feeling that I hadn't felt for quite a while was returning back whenever I saw him coming closer to inspect my feature. He was absorbing my image to design the right style for me. I hope he would remember me forever the way I look while he was staring at me. It would hurt me if he had forgotten, but then again, this crush was only one sided, and that side was me.

_I think I know what to do_, he said. He nodded to Iruka and started to discuss of how I should go about myself. It took them one hour to plan but in the end, they wanted me to be satisfied. Or more like to make me presentable in the court.

_Lawyers live with style_, said Kakashi while Iruka was designing my hairstyle. _That's how we get customer_, Kakashi added, his nose was still buried in the perverted collection of his. He smiled knowingly when he caught me spacing out, my eyes following Naruto wherever he goes.

It took only a day to make me look completely different. The geeky person that I knew was now replaced by someone new, someone that I had never thought possible to exist. That someone was me. My dark hair that used to be combed sideways was now sticking backwards, framing my face perfectly. The glasses I wore were gone, replaced by the contacts to make my eyes colour showed. My alabaster skin was still there, except that there was a little peachy colour gaining. The outfit I wore when I was a school boy was now replaced by the suit that I would have to tolerate for the rest of my life in my career. I thought the mirror was defying me but I guessed not.

_You look way better than the most popular guy model_, Naruto commented. The compliment from Naruto had made my heart rate quickened. I had never received any praises from anyone before, but coming from Naruto, I grasped the words with my hands, promising myself that I would treasure every moment of it.

Kakashi glided in just the right time to drag me back to the office. _There's a client waiting and I would like him to meet my genius apprentice_, he excused, heaving me to the blue Porsche parked outside. I caught a glimpse of the shop name: KISHIMOTO DESIGN Co. I repeated the name in my head, making sure to check on my memory for the next five days every hour. Even when my day was cramped with paperwork, I would always drift my thought thinking about him. There was no way escaping him for he kept barging in even in my wet dreams.

Then, one day, Kakashi brought me again to the shop to change my suit. _You really need to buy a change of suit_, he judged the coat I was wearing like my uniform.

I would never admit it to myself but I was excited to see Naruto again. Throughout the ride, I was humming quietly to myself, low enough so Kakashi would not hear me. When the Porsche car came to a halt in the parking lot, I went out to the shop, entering the door at the same time searching for Naruto.

What I saw when I found him at the back of the shop was something I wished I hadn't look at. He was making out with a girl and that girl was none other than the devil in my high school, the bitch I swore I would never lay my eyes on again: Sakura. The two pushed away when they saw me. Naruto just smiled sheepishly, not knowing how much my inside shattered.

_Oh, hi_, he said awkwardly.

_Hn, I'll just wait in the dressing room_, I told him, my face shifted to a colder version of me. I walked away, not wanting to even look at the two with the same eyes as before. When I got into the dressing room, Iruka was already waiting with a new change of suit. I quietly took it from him and got myself changed. I didn't realise that Iruka had left because I was too immerse with the way I had hurt myself all over again. There was no hope of love in me. There was no one who was there to pour my heart to.

I sensed another person in the dressing room. From the mirror, I saw Sakura standing behind me, leaning casually against the wall with her arm crossed.

_Hello handsome_, she said seductively. It was gross the way she acted, not after all the things she put me through.

_You're free tonight? _She laid her fingers on my shoulder. It might have made my heart jumped once upon a time, but not anymore.

_Go away, Sakura. _I told her off. It was fun to watch how her eyes bulged in disbelief.

_How do you know my name? _She asked in surprise.

_Don't you remember? _I almost laughed at how disgusting this was turning to be. Sakura the whore only chased after good looking man. Now that she set her eyes on me, I was sure she would determine to get into my pants, but let's not get ahead of myself. Not until I exposed my name to her. Being a lawyer myself, I was sure that my analysis was mostly correct.

_I never meet you before, _she said.

_You do. Sasuke Uchiha, the geek guy you pushed away before and laughed at. That's me_, I said, folding the end of my sleeves to my elbow.

_You change a lot_, she said in awe. Drools were flowing down from her corner of her mouth as I ran my hand in between my hair.

_I do and that's thanks to your boyfriend_, I said.

_You're still single are you? _She asked with this sickening excited tone. Maybe if she would get a cue to leave me alone and go back making out with her boyfriend, she would probably have been gone.

_Look, whatever you do, I won't be interested, understand? _She looked dejected for a split moment, staring at me like it could change anything. I pretended to be oblivious of it, buttoning my coat together just to check if it really fits me.

_Sasuke, are you still mad about the rejection? _She raised the past reminiscing in between us.

_Why would I? _I told her. There were many other things that I should be worrying about. She was nothing to me ever since that humiliating day happened. Sakura was rather hopeful with my reply. Let her be. I won't be the one dating her though because the person that I wanted to see everyday stood a wall away from me, yet somewhat unreachable.

That was saddening. I could do nothing other than watching him being together with someone else. It pained me a lot more than I thought it would be.

_Sasuke-kun... _Sakura grabbed the tail of my coat, almost causing the brand new suit to rip. Fortunately for her, the material of the suit was strong or she would have to pay the whole price and got it repaired.

_Listen, I don't know what you want from me but if you don't leave me alone, I'll make sure you are miserable for the rest of your life, _I snapped at her. She didn't look faze as if all the threat was a usual hearing to her. Her green eyes lied on me, glistening to show her engrossing interest.

_Your hard to get act what makes me want to get to you more, _she winked. I was not seduced. If anything, I felt like my dinner was threatening to come out from my throat. She even managed to make me tremble in fear just with her words.

She waved at me and gave me a flying kiss, then finally leaving alone in the room. I let out the breath I had held; she really knew how to make a man scared for his life. _Stupid woman_, I thought. I should've calculated what the woman game was for it wasn't long before Naruto came rushing in, anger ascending to the tip of his hair.

_You! _He shouted, poking my chest indignantly. _What did you do to my girlfriend? _

_Your girlfriend? I don't even know if she deserves that place at all, _I laughed at him, showing how much of a jerk I really am. He couldn't hold his temper right, that Naruto. Oh, and that woman, she might have bad mouth about me to him. The moment I shut my eyes to think over of what that woman could have done, he had punched me square in the face. I lose my steady stance, almost tumbling down from the degree of intensity his knuckle could trigger off.

_Don't you fucking dare to talk like that about my girlfriend, _he hissed darkly. It was at his statement when an alien feeling rose to surface. I couldn't name it but this feeling, it made you angry and sorry for yourself for not having what others had- for being left behind; for being able to watch only from afar but not tasting what you could have. That was what Naruto had made me; boiling in anger and inhaling hesitation.

_Go back to your girlfriend, retard, _I told him, pushing him away from me. Although that feeling was stronger, I couldn't bow to its will. I had to go out from the room, got myself some air to breathe in and be calmed. When I was outside with the air around me, I was still choked for there was still something missing in which I hadn't known that I brought myself to somewhere I couldn't identify. I just kept my adrenaline pumping around my body, hoping that my frustration to go away. It was difficult for me to let the strange feeling kept intact and it was even more difficult for me to watch them together. So difficult that if I even tried, I would fall harder.

Naruto, I couldn't do anything except be in love with you. The line kept chanting in my head like a mantra that I was afraid if I forget; I would be cursed forever walking the path of loneliness.

The dawn left me as the night swept me in. Still, I let myself passing a series of lamppost until my muscle couldn't take me anyway further. They gave out. I fall on both of my knees, my hands slung limply on both sides. I could hear my heart vigorous thumping. I could feel the pulse speeding. My inhalation became more concentrated that I set my lung on fire with no one else to extinguish it.

There was only me alone under the light of the lamppost, exhausted physically and internally. I asked myself, is the feeling of falling for somebody hurt so much till I am struggling to breathe? Yes, I told myself. Yes, this is how it really feels. It hurt so bad that I don't think that my heart could be ripped to pieces anymore.

I realised my admission when he was already taken. I had a foolish heart. I was a stupid man regardless of what I worked as. Love had no mind; love what made you a fool. It rubbed on you quick enough before you could ever dodge it. If love was the happiness people yearned to have, love for me was something cruel and torturing that I yearned to forget. Loving someone who was so far away from your reach was like dreaming for a love that I could never had.

Naruto had left me inanimate all over. Not because I was dying but because I was already dead. The evidence of my living soul was gone; gone forever with the twisted joke of the mother of destiny.

A Porsche car stopped in front of me. When Kakashi came out, I stood up, brushing the dirt of my trousers.

_We just bought that suit, _he said. _You should be taking care of it, not running with it. _

_I know, _I told him. _I know. _

_Get in the car_, he told me to and I did. He drove off into the street, pushing the car to its limit. In my state of my mind, the speed of the car left me unfazed. For the street, however, it was the race of the time and death. He drove us to the top of the Konoha's hill, braking the car to a stop when we reached the peak.

_I'm sure that this is where you are heading, _he told me, and his grip on the steering wheel was not gone.

_Thanks_, Kakashi, I told him. Saying nothing else, I opened the car door. I walked over to the cliff edge. The view of it was beautiful. It loosened some of my frustration. Even just a little bit, I was glad to come here. To run was not to go far but to go high. Indeed, I was running from the emotion wave I didn't want to have. I absorbed the relaxation while it last. From where I was, I could see the illumination of the street lights and cars lining in beeline. The noise of the vehicles didn't reach my ears. Here it was calm, yet not silent. The cricket noise was humming in between the trees and leaves in a place where the wind would caress almost gently. The smell of the night Jasmine evaporated to the air, welcoming the visitor of the night who had come to be immersed in such beauty. Up here, it was alive. Down there, it was a cemetery of agony and promising apocalypse.

Kakashi stood next to me, sharing the view of the city. We were enveloped by silence, clearing all the problems in our head. It was a moment of nothingness but also a moment of blackness.

_Love is not everything_, Kakashi pondered aloud. Yes, love is not everything- which I agreed silently.

_I'll give you a chance to put yourself together, _he said. I listened to him. He, being the older one than me, should know what he was doing.

_Prosecutor Sabaku No Gaara of the Suna needs a partner for the new case. I wonder if you are interested to take that place rather than me, _he proposed the new job to me. Suna, a country on the other side of the world- was it far enough for me to retain my composure? Time would tell, even if it couldn't mend pain. Even if it couldn't mend me, I could lock it all up and forget about it.

_Leave everything behind_, he told me.

_Run away_, I told myself quietly. Run away, what a perfect solution.

_When_? I asked him.

_Next week_, he answered and we walked back to his Porsche.

Next week, I would begin a new life- as a lifeless walking mannequin. This secret love? I would keep it to myself as long as I could.

But when it burst, who knows what I'll do? Time would tell me when the moment arrived.

**A/N: -Burst into tears- This is sooooo one sided! Gosh! –Wipe one sided tears- Hands up for sequel! -Smile- Sorry, I will update Ouija Board after my exam which is two months away... That story needs more attention than any other story so I apologize for the delay (not including the creepy things happening when I am trying to write the Ouija story. I'll humor you with what happened later)  
**

**For this story, I dedicated it to all of you! Though the sequel will only come if you bribe me with lots and lots cookies reviews! Ehehehehe- constructive feedback is welcomed and feedback giving me cookies and plushies are also welcomed.**

**Or do you want me to start a cookie per review system, hmmm? **

_**OWARI????**_


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